I have tried and practiced many forms of meditation in my spiritual quest. I have written about them, and taught them.

In these days, I have been drawn more and more to the simplest, yet most profound of meditation techniques: that of gently letting go of thoughts as they arise, and resting in the silence between thoughts. And something has been happening.

I use a mantra, or sometimes just gaze at the candle flame, to maintain focus and awareness during my practice. Each time a thought arises, I gently let it go, releasing it like a helium balloon floating away into the blue. Then I return to the silence between thoughts.

I have noticed recently that when I sit like this, in utter silence, there is something beyond the silence. It’s almost like a hum, and I feel my brain vibrating with it. It’s not just the lack of noise, it’s something more, a spaciousness, an all-enfolding vibrating light. I find that hum or vibration is the way I describe it to myself. Maybe this is what the ancient Indian mystics meant when they said that the whole universe resounds to the primordial sound, AUM (OM). Maybe they experienced this zone which I have encountered, and the best way to describe it was with the word AUM.

What surprises me the most is that I am actually experiencing this. The effects of my religious, protestant, post-enlightenment faith have numbed me to actually experiencing anything in the inner realms. Even as I study mysticism, I find that subconsciously I am still telling myself to “take these things on faith alone”, as if i couldn’t actually experience them for myself, but had to rely on someone else’s spiritual experiences.

I have found that as I begin my meditation time each morning now, I am eagerly anticipating entering that spacious zone, that hum, to attune to the “higher vibration” for want of a better word. (human words don’t adequately explain inner experiences.) Rather than focusing on the letting-go-of-thoughts part of the practice, I’m now focusing on that attuned state of mind. It’s wonderful. It’s like the years of practice have opened me up to something new. The technique of stilling the body, letting go of thoughts, is a bit like the technique of driving a car I guess. It becomes subconscious, it’s something you just do after lots of practice. But it’s not the end in itself, it’s just what is needed to get the car traveling to it’s destination.

Entering this realm of attunement, rising up through the silence between thoughts, is something I can’t describe but which I wish everybody could experience. It’s like being absorbed completely in light, in harmony, in peace. It’s like becoming one with the One. I find that if I am able to rest in this awareness for a significant part of my practice time, then through the rest of the day it is still there. When I feel likely to shout at my kids, or judge someone I see, I can switch back into that place of harmony in my mind, and realise that they are part of the One, part of the harmony, too. Then I’m more likely to react lovingly and with compassion. This love and compassion is drawn from that place of attunement, it’s like I can still feel the echo of the depths of the silence, and the something beyond the silence, ringing in my ears.

A great feeling of thankfulness rises up within me, and the words blessed is the jewel in the lotus, om-mani-pembe-hum, come to mind. I feel the petals of my self slowly opening to reveal the jewel within, a jewel which is united with the spaciousness and light all around me, and whose shining forth has only been obscured by the petals of my self. The petals are not bad, but their beauty is seen better when open than when closed.

All spiritual experiences are entirely subjective, I have no way of knowing if what I am experiencing in meditation is anything like what you, or what other practitioners, may be experiencing. But I do find that the writings of the mystics, and the ancient scriptures of holy men and women, explain things which sound very similar to some of the experiences I have been encountering. And I am grateful.

Peace and blessings to all beings.

M.